#69 - Breaking the Cycle: Anger, Addiction, and the Path to Healing with Ewan Kirkaldy
In this episode, host Ryan Watts sits down with Ewan Kirkcaldy (SEP RSW CCAC), an expert in addiction, trauma, and emotional regulation. Together, they dive deep into the misunderstood role of anger, how it plays into recovery and emotional regulation, and how addiction is often a form of self-regulation rather than just a lack of willpower.
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Ewan is a dedicated somatic and psychotherapist specializing in trauma, stress, and burnout recovery through Somatic Experiencing. As a contractor at Resilient Health, Ewan helps individuals navigate nervous system regulation and healing. He is a registered social worker with the BC College of Social Workers and a certified addiction counsellor accredited by the Canadian Addiction Counsellor Certification Federation. Ewan holds a degree in Social Work from the University of Victoria.
With extensive experience in both inpatient and outpatient facilities, Ewan has honed expertise in supporting individuals dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, and substance use. He is a co-creator and owner of Home Based Recovery, an online addiction support program, and a founding board member of the Rewired Recovery Foundation (RRF), a charitable organization that hosts substance-free events and allocates proceeds to help individuals access treatment.
Beyond his professional work, Ewan is an avid fly fisher and enjoys cooking, particularly smoking and grilling, as well as rock polishing. He spends time outdoors running or walking his small dog, Vanjie, and has recently begun training in boxing. When indoors, he is a passionate supporter of Arsenal FC and the Vancouver Canucks. Ewan resides as a guest on the Tsawout First Nation and works on the stolen lands of the WSANEC peoples on the southern tip of Vancouver Island, BC, Canada.
💡 Key Topics Discussed:
- The true nature of anger and why it's not inherently bad
- How anger can be a tool for self-protection and empowerment
- Addiction as a form of self-regulation—what people get wrong about it
- Codependency and its role in addiction and family systems
- The biology of addiction and how genetics play a role
- How social connection is key in both addiction recovery and emotional healing
- Alternative paths to recovery beyond the 12-step model
- Cultural views of anger and how they shape our emotional responses
- The importance of somatic therapy and nervous system regulation
- The lifelong journey of healing and why there’s no “finish line”
Jump To...
🔹 00:01 – Introduction
🔹 00:29 – Episode Preview
🔹 01:27 – Guest Background: Who is Ewan Kirkcaldy?
🔹 02:44 – Defining Anger: Is It Good or Bad?
🔹 05:11 – Personal Experiences with Anger
🔹 07:15 – The Lifelong Path of Healing
🔹 08:40 – The Connection Between Anger & Recovery
🔹 10:02 – The Biology of Addiction
🔹 13:55 – How Addiction Hijacks the Hierarchy of Needs
🔹 15:26 – The Role of Codependency in Addiction
🔹 19:35 – The First Experience of Addiction: A Life-Changing Moment
🔹 22:18 – Social Connection as a Key to Healing
🔹 24:34 – How Anger Can Be a Positive Force in Recovery
🔹 30:12 – The Role of Forgiveness in Healing
🔹 37:38 – Addiction Across Different Social Classes
🔹 41:57 – The Evolutionary Benefit of Addiction Traits?
🔹 44:17 – Cultural Views of Anger & Expression
🔹 50:10 – Tools for Managing Anger Daily
🔹 57:42 – The Connection Between Anger & Feeling Safe
🔹 01:02:48 – The Healing Journey: Hope vs. Awareness
🔹 01:08:56 – Finding the Right Therapist & Recovery Path
🔹 01:11:28 – Final Takeaway: Learning About Healing Is Not the Same as Doing the Work
